Victoria Fountain

Victoria Fountain

Age: TOP SECRET

Favorite Book: The Total Woman

Favorite Hobby: College

Favorite Celebrity: George Burns

Favorite Expression: Love conquers all!

Favorite Movie: Harold and Maude

Favorite Quote: "The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray." (Oscar Wilde)

Victoria is a mature woman of indeterminate age and determined to keep it that way. Her allusions to a previous century occasionally give rise to speculation that she may be well past middle age, but none dare voice this suspicion. If asked about her "old maid" status, an odd state given her romantic inclinations, she replies furiously, "I'm neither a maid nor old, so get with the 21st century, Dearie!" If a MAN has the audacity to ask such a question, she usually hits on him for a date "since he's obviously in need of further education."

A co-worker once asked Victoria how many times she had been married. "Never! It's much too limiting! Why, just look at poor Liz Taylor, reduced to counting husbands on two hands!" Victoria elaborates further on her romantic philosophy, "The fun is in the chase. Once you've conquered, move on-'Veni, vidi, vici! ' "

Victoria recently returned to college as a history major (since it requires little study on her part), and as a primary source of information she is free to correct the "misconceptions espoused by those young Turks, the history professors."


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